First Steps
by PiratePrincessXx
Summary: A story told from Matt's Point of view. A glimpse into his life when an old childhood friend returns into his life.
1. Chapter 1

Bang.

Bang. Bang.

Girl screams. Bang bang bangbang bang. Argh! Game Over, the game computer chirped in a happier mood than necessary that Matt just had to swear at despite it being just a video game. He glared at it as he cast it onto the near by table.

"Fucking bastards. I was so close," He sneered to no one in particular while he grabbed his cigarette, lighting it silently as it bobbed in between his lips.

"Lost again?" A voice chimed from behind him. Matt rolled his eyes, slumping deeper into the lounge chair. Of course Hoshiko would have been able to find him here. This café was their spot, if you'd call it that. It's the first place they had seen each other in besides the Whammy's House. She had been adopted a few years back so when they ran into each other, she was ecstatic and has met him here a few times a week now.

Looking at the café now, Matt found it was the only place he actually enjoyed being at other than the house. It wasn't loud like everywhere else. Mostly bankers and such filled the small scattered tables. Each either had a low conversation with each other or sat silently alone with a book on their lap and a donut in their mouth. Just how he liked it. He could come here any time he wanted and not be interrupted from his game… Until Hoshiko came. Now she made the point to sit with him when they were both here and tease him on something. Usually his games. It was annoying but she wasn't so bad. She had gotten prettier than when they lived together. She allowed her hair to grow out more and fan out on her shoulders in a wave of dark brown silk with some minor honey hue highlights. She had grown into her looks and developed curves. Nothing to great but it fit her small figure. It didn't hurt to look at her. Sitting down now with her small plate holding her usual bagel, Hoshiko glanced up at him through one of her bangs. Her rich dark brown eyes studied him while a hint of mischievousness danced in their darkness.

"Don't you realize you'll never win at that game?" She scoffed, pulling a piece of her bagel and shoveling it in her mouth.

"I'll beat it. I only lost because you appeared. You're a jinx."

"I am not! You're your own bad luck, Mail."

Matt cringed at his real name. Glaring at her through his typical goggles, he removed his cigarette from his mouth with one hand while he used the other to raise his coffee towards him, taking a quick sip.

"What'd I tell you about that name?"

"What'd I tell you about smoking?" She quipped, snatching the cigarette from his hands before he realized it and smothered it into the ash tray near by.

"It's going to be the death of you."

"You'll be the death of me of you keep doing that," Matt muttering, eyeing the snuffed pile of ashes mournfully.

Snatching her bagel quickly, Matt ripped off his own piece to eat and leaned away from the table to look at her now.

"So, on break?" Hoshiko worked at the local 'bar and grill' down the street from them. He never understood why she would eat here if she had food right in from of her but then again he never really cared.

Hoshi pulled her bagel back, not caring he took a piece, knowing he was looking for a rise out of her for it.

"Nope. I have a day off. I stopped here for some breakfast then I'm going to the House to visit Near. I figured you would be in here failing as usual so I thought I'd see if you wanted to come with me."

"I really don't."

"Fine. I'll just walk there all alone, then."

He raised an eyebrow at her curiously. "Why not take a cab?"

"Eh, Don't have the money to spare for it right now." She shrugged then waved her hand as if to dispel any doubt.

"It's fine. It's only a few blocks away. I can deal. I have enough pepper spray to knock down ever pervert in town."

Oh, great. She was playing the guilt trip card, Matt sighed inwardly. Well, I ain't biting. Not playing her game, Matt shrugged himself and pulled out his carton of cigarettes, tapping it on the table.

"Good luck with that." Reaching down to the cigarette that poked out from the opening, He stared around the café when Hoshiko reached out and snagged the carton, tossing them into her purse before he could even meet her eyes, staring at his hand as if wondering if it was magic.

"Be a gentleman for once, Matt."

"What for?" He growled, pissed now which only made him more desperate for a smoke.

"Because…" She grinned now, knowing she had the key to trap him. She reached over towards him making him back away, confused for a second until she grinned again and returned into her upright position. The game waved in her hand as if in rhythm with her cockiness.

"I know a code to get you an extra life AND to fully restore your health. Handy for when you got to go after the Boss, huh?"

Hoshiko winked at Matt and he jumped in front of her, hitting the table with his knees.

"You're lying!" He claimed, looking for a challenge.

"Am I?"

And there it was. He was her slave now and she knew it. That crafty smile was shining like a trophy now.

Standing quickly, Matt shrugged on his jacket and reached a hand out to her to help her up.

"Which way?"

"Now, That's better. And we're going the long way. Let's go, pet."

Hoshiko took the lead while Matt walked behind her, mentally kicking himself the whole way.

The orphanage towered over them now. The large marble columns stood tall, framing the small black double doors. The iron gates that donned place name were now decorated with lively vines that spun itself all over the court yard. Even other tiles that led the way to the door appeared to have a web of green strings over it. Hoshiko stepped carefully to avoid tripping like she had many times as a child.

Maybe this was my chance to change that, she thought with confidence until her toe snagged on a particularly stubborn vine, making her stumble with little grace. She caught herself before she made a full on face plant with the concrete but it didn't prevent Matt from still laughing from behind. As children, Matt had always been the one to sit alone, silent and distant, but had never failed to tease and mock her for her lack of balance. Hoshi was dreadful as a kid. It was safe to say that becoming a dancer was far, far away from her choices of careers.

At least I have all the brains I'd ever need, Hoshi thought smugly when she regained her balance and reached the steps. She turned quickly to meet Matt face-to-face who was caught severely off guard as he hadn't notice until his nose tapped her own and he stepped back quickly with a slight stumble.

"Wh-what? What did you stop for?" He sputtered out.

She could practically hear his heart sped up and she smiled.

"I want you to know that I'm different from when I lived here. I have grown. My balance may still need work done but I have grown mentally and can beat you at anything. Any day. Got that?"

His face washed over with confusion but didn't like being challenged.

"Whatever you say, Klutz."

She gave him a look then turned back, pushing the doors open.

Inside, Children of all ages cluttered the halls and rooms. Five years sat against the walls engaged in an intense game of Chess while preteens lounged in the various rooms either watching a documentary on the large monitors along the walls or were conducting some sort of presentation to one of the adults who worked as a teacher here.

"Remember when this use to us?" Hoshi asked, sighing, enjoying the familiarity of it all wash over her.

At her side, Matt had his hands forced into his pockets while he leaned back slightly, staring at the walls dully.

"I try not to," he grumbled.

Matt had never really liked living here. He barely talked to anyone, not even herself. Only people who ever got close to him were L, Near and Mellow. Mellow was like a brother to him. His best friend. Hoshi couldn't remember a time since they met that they had ever stopped being with each other. After Matt moved out into the single room apartment had they actually did things on their own.

Not wanting to dwell, Hoshi subconsciously grasped Matt's hand and tugged him along with her.

"Let's not just stand here. Come on! I bet Near is in his room."

They whirlwind up the stairs to the third floor, dodging kids, and went to Near's room. It was only until then that Hoshiko had realized she had Matt's hand in hers. She quickly released him and moved away self-consciously.

"You think he's here?" She asked quietly, peek up at him carefully.

Matt wasn't looking at her. Instead he stared over her head, down the hall, not meeting her eyes until he seemed to realize she was waiting for an answer. He glanced down at her for a brief second before he flicked his eyes back to what held his attention before she had spoke.

"Yea, sure. Just knock already."

Knocking softly, Hoshiko listened intently but was only met with silence until she had knocked once more. A voice cut through the door softly.

"It's open."

Peeking inside carefully, Hoshiko stuck her head in and spotted Near on the floor before he noticed who it was and she smiled excitedly, pushing the door open all the way now.

"Still plotting, I see."

Near glanced up now through the short strands of white hair that covered his forehead. A small child-like smile played across his lips as he sat up straight from his crouched over pose.

"Hoshi, It's nice of you to visit."

He cocked his head to the side to spot Matt who had stayed on just at the threshold while Hoshiko now was in the center of the room.

"Same to you, Matt. Did you come for Mellow?"

Matt looked down at Near.

'Not really but I might as well see him while I'm here. Where's he at?"

"Down the hall in L's old study."

Hoshiko blinked and sat down next to Near while Matt vanished back into the hallway.

"In L's old study? What for? Is he even allowed?"

Near returned to his toys now, rolling onto his stomach to be on eye level with his latest replica of what looked like World War I. He kicked his legs back and forth carelessly as he spoke.

"He received permission, I suppose. He wouldn't touch anything though so don't worry yourself. So how have you been, Hoshi?"

"Very well. I just moved into my new apartment. That really nice one I told you that I told you about that's close to my work. It was pretty tricky moving in but I'll be unpacking tonight and be all set up by the end of the week."

Near froze for a second then looked up at Hoshiko, studying her. So many things were running through that wonderful brain, she could tell.

"I miss having you here," He stated quite bluntly that made him look more his age than ever.

"It's lonely now."

"Aw, I'm sorry, N!"

She yelped, throwing her arms around his small frame lovingly then pulled away, holding him at arms length.

"But that's why I found a place close! So I could visit whenever and be here in a flash if you ever need me. You still have my number, right?"

She asked and he pointed with his right hand at the wall next to his large desk that appeared untouched. Along the wall was decorated with pages of equations, drawings and proposals but in between the official papers was a small bright green and yellow sticky note with her handwriting on it with her address and number. She smiled and nodded once.

"Good. Now you know, you can call whenever you need me. Whenever! I'll be here in a heartbeat, I promise. Okay?"

Near smiled softly and nodded with her.

"I know, Thank you," He replied and turned away to return to his toys.

Hoshiko sat down next him comfortably watching him. Her mind only wandered once, wondering what Matt and Mellow were up to.

Matt rapped his knuckles against the door once and pushed open the door without an invite, strolling in carefully. He was met with a cool stare from Mellow from across the room.

"Old friend," Mellow spoke in greetings, nodding once while Matt shut the door to stand in the center of the dusty office.

"Strange to see you in a place like this," Matt replied as his eyes scanned the room. It looked much like any other office. Books lined the walls more for show than actual use although L surely read all of them. If you were to lift any book of choice and flipped to any odd page and you'll spot notes in the margin from where L had wrote the correct answers to whatever theory was listed along with the several of spots and smudges from his sugar craze. Matt smirked and looked at Mellow now as he sat in the large comfy chair with a king size chocolate bar on hand.

"How is it strange? I am one of successors, correct?" He said smugly in between bites.

"So am I and you don't see me playing dress up, do you?"

"That's because you don't embrace it like you should."

"I don't see why I should. It doesn't matter much to me."

Mellow stood now and circled the desk to stand next to him.

"How could it not? You're one too."

Matt shrugged, searching his pockets absently.

"So? It's not that big of a deal… Dammit."

"What is it?" Mellow asked, munching on his chocolate.

Matt growled and glared out the door, down the hall. The laughs of Near and Hoshiko echoed softly in the air as he looked down at his empty pockets bitterly.

"Hoshi took my smokes."

This, of course, got Mellow to grin from behind his candy, his dark eyes playful.

"Hoshiko, huh? How cute. I'm guessing she bribed you into walking her here to see Near?"

Matt was about to snap at him when he remembered her 'bribe'.

"Damn, that's right. She owes me a code!"

He replied angrily, making a mental note of it while Mellow laughed now at his friend as he laid down his candy and jumped onto the desk, sitting comfortably. He knew Matt was a sucker for anything game related but knew even better that it wasn't what sucked him in.

"So how is that going?"

"The game?" He asked blankly.

"Hoshi, you idiot. Anything new?"

Matt blinked, lost a bit. Mellow could see he was in denial. As kids, they had been close although they never actually shared secrets much. They never really had to, at least. The boys could read each other like a book without saying two words to each other and Mellow knew Matt well. Hoshiko held a spell over him from day one. Okay, not day one but close to it. Maybe a few weeks off, he mused. It was a childhood puppy love thing but both kept it in the dark. There was a day where Mellow and Near had, for once, sat down together and talked not as rivals but as friends and discussed their friends. If even Near could see it then it had to be true. Looking now, Matt was still in the dark, in seemed and Mellow decided to let him slide this time. He'll learn in time. Instead, they launched into conversing over their latest job.

In the other room, Hoshiko stood up, dusting off her knees and smiled at Near.

"I got to go, okay? So much unpacking is needed to be done! I'll be back later, okay?"

Near smiled up at her, reaching up to her in a hug that she accepted happily.

"Okay. I look forward to seeing you soon. Watch over Matt, okay?"

"Matt? Why do I need to watch him?"

Near smiled then reached to his toys.

"No reason. Bye."

Lost, Hoshi let it go and walked out confusedly. This remained on her thoughts as she approached the ancient office where Matt had vanished into only to stop short right before the door as she heard Mellow and Matt discussing something she didn't understand but she caught the jist of it. Mellow was still sucked into the Mafia and teaming with Matt to get information on his latest heist.

"When do you need that information?" Matt's voice asked.

"As soon as possible. We'll need blueprints, alarm system information. Oh, and tail Tamaki. Learn what you can."

"Got it."

Hoshiko eyes burned slightly. Matt had promised her once that he'd stop being Mellow's work dog. She should have known it would have been true. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out his carton of cigarettes, took a deep breath and entered the room. Both men tensed at her entrance.

Good, she thought bitterly and held the carton up before tossing at Matt, a little harder than necessary but he could deal.

"You ready?" She asked coolly.

"Nice to see you, Hoshiko." Mello greeted her with a tight smile, unsure of her mood. She was definitely one girl that the two could never really understand.

"Mellow." She replied curtly, staring at Matt. "Well?"

Matt gulped quietly. He could see it in her eyes she knew. "Er, now?"

"Yes. Now."

"Okay. See you later, Mihael."

"Later, Matt."

Leaving the room, Hoshiko took the lead, never turning back to see if Matt was still following. He groaned then attempted a conversation.

"So, how was Near?"

"Fine."

"That's good."

"Yep."

Silence. Next try:

"So when do I get that code?"

"What code?"

"For the game?"

"Oh. There was no code."

Matt's jaw dropped and this time the conversation was done with for good. Walking silently down the street, He ignored the icy shoulder of Hoshiko and led her to her apartment. She barely offered a good bye, just shook his hand stiffly and vanished inside as he stared after her. But, as he turned away to walk himself home, he felt a paper in his hand. Hoshi had left him something. Curiously, he unraveled the tiny ripped piece and read its chicken scratch. A smile lit up his face and he put the paper in his pocket, smiling giddily as he strolled down the sidewalk.

"I knew she had a code. That boss is mine!"


	2. Chapter 2

Never thought myself, of all people, would be doing this.

Bloody pathetic.

Matt grumbled to himself, lighting yet another cigarette until he paused with the lighter near his mouth. Not the best way to wait for Hoshiko. It'd just be one more reason for her to hate him. He flicked the lighter close and removed the cigarette, tucking it behind his ears while he eyed the street through his thick goggles.

The street in front of the café was fairly busy but not crowded, giving Matt enough space to lean on the building wall without having to hear 'Excuse me' every few minutes although it didn't help with the stares. It's not so much that he dresses weird but Hoshi and Near had once told him it was his presence. It draws attention supposedly. Later that day, Hoshiko had said the goggles as factor as well. He had vowed then to keep them on to annoy her. Now it was just a habit.

"What are you doing out here?"

Hoshiko walked to his side, looking up at him with a puzzled look.

She wore a black fitted dress with some stylish boots, a long thin jacket and scarf and hat pulled over her ears. Her nose was slightly pink from the dropping weather. She was carrying two large paper bags filled with unknown content that seemed to be slipping at any moment from her twig-like arms.

"You know, if you're cold, you could try wearing a thicker coat."

"You didn't answer my question and I don't have a thicker coat. I'm not cold."

"So stubborn."

"As are you. Now, why are you out here?"

Matt sighed, his breath streamed in front of him, and offered out his hand to help with the bags that Hoshi didn't even give a second thought to, shoving the biggest onto him.

"No reason. Are you going inside?"

She looked at him now with suspicion.

"Why do you want to--?"

"Are you or not?"

"Y-yes. Yes, I am."

"Well, then come on."

They walked to the door where Matt opened it for her and entered the warm area. Before they found a seat, Hoshi whirled on him, her hand held up to stop him before he could grab a seat.

"What?" He asked.

"Why are you being this way? What's going on?"

"I'm not being anything. I'm not acting any different than--."

"Yes you are!"

Both fell into silence until Matt broke it, setting the bag aside and clearing his throat to face her.

"Look, I saw your face last night. You heard something and it upset you. I'm sorry, okay? I don't like you looking at me that way."

Hoshiko sat down at the table and looked up at him with a thoughtful look.

"You know how I feel about that, Matt."

He sat with her now, leaning on the table.

"I know but it's for Mellow. You know I'll always be there for him. He's my friend."

Silence.

"Okay, okay. Just." Hoshiko fidgeted a minute, casting her eyes firmly to the floor now. "Just be… safe? I'd feel a lot better if you just watch yourself. Mellow is involved with the Mafia. You're to go for that."

There was another pause and Hoshi dared a look up at him to find Matt smiling warmer than usual, making her blush darkly.

"W-what?"

"Nothing. Just nice that someone is worried about me, is all."

And he had meant it too. Being an orphan, L, Mellow, and Near were the only ones who ever really showed that kind of feeling for him but never spoke. To hear it is definitely pleasing.

"Well, someone needs. You're completely gullible and have no focus whatsoever."

Hoshiko joked, lightening the mood although it tossed them into a full on debate on Matt's gaming skills, as usual.

"Ha, so I'm better at Mortal Combat then."

"Well, I beat you at Kingdom Hearts!" Hoshi argued.

They had been at for about an hour now but it wasn't like they're other fights. They were smiling, for once. A play fight, you could say. The fight kept on as they walked to the bar Hoshiko worked at.

"Why do you work at this dump?"

Matt complained as he looked at the scruffy building. It wasn't exactly rundown but it was on its way to.

"It's money, M. You know, you need that to eat and live places. Normal human stuff."

"You're better than this though. We both know it. You could work at NASA for Christ sake!"

Hoshi rolled her eyes, taking the bag from Matt's arms and headed to the door.

"This is just a start, okay?" She glanced at the door then back at him.

"Wanna come hang for a bit?"

"I would like to but… I have things I, uh, need to do."

Mellow had asked him to do some recon today and it wasn't wise to tell Hoshiko that. Her face already had a shadow pulled over it but she tried to play it off quickly, flapping her hands as she talked which made him smile.

"Yeah, no. Sure, that's okay. Just, uh, be careful?"

"I will. I promise. It's nothing big."

"Good. Bye."

"Bye, Hoshiko…"

She hesitated and ducked into the door leaving Matt to look after her with this strange feeling that ate him slowly.

'It's nothing.' He thought, shaking it away as he walked and turned down an ally way. 'Time to see a news reporter.'

-Mellow's warehouse-

"Dark and dank doesn't fit your personality, you know."

Mellow was sprawled across a worn down couch when Matt entered with a small file on hand.

"You don't think it makes me look tougher?"

"Not so much, mate." He replied, waving the folder. "Got what you wanted."

Kicking his feet back to the ground, Mellow tapped the table and Matt dropped the folder on it.

"Good, good. Thank you."

"What's it for? Anything big?"

"Maybe."

Matt saw that Mellow was absorbed in the pictures and notes he had taken and waited even though he didn't need the answer. The fact that L had died for this case and Near was closing in on it obviously showed its importance.

Instead, Matt took in his surroundings. It was a normal warehouse. Abandoned a while back now decorated with Mellow's equipment and housed his guns for hire. They lounged around the other raggedy couches, waiting for the next command. Matt saw them as scum of the underworld. Mafia-wannabes. Mellow would never trust them with the work he had Matt do and he was proud of that.

Mellow laid the files down and leaned back on the couch with a deep sigh. His face grave but determined. He cast his eyes up at Matt slowly.

"I'll need one more favor. It's very big. Dangerous."

"How dangerous?"

"Enough to get you killed. What do you say, Old friend?"

-The Bar and Grill-

Wrist-deep in yucky dirty water, Hoshiko thrilled that she had now finished washing her last dish for the night, skipping to the rag to dry her hands.

"I'm done, sir!"

Her boss strolled to the kitchen, careful not to hit anything with his protruding gut. He definitely needed to stop taste-testing his own food.

"Good job, Hoshiko. You're free to go. And please, take some food with you. Get some meat on those bones! Do you have a way home?"

"I'm already stuffed with the feast you made me eat for lunch!" she said with a laugh, "I'm going to hail a cab. Bye! See you tomorrow!"

She dived out the door, clenching her coat closed tightly, and waited for a cab when the sound of a can getting kicked made her jump. A cola can skipped and rolled out in front of her as Matt walked from the shadows with a trail of smoke around him. The cigarette pressed gently between his lips.

"Hey, Hoshi."

"You scared me. Matt, I thought I told you not to do that."

She replied with a smile and reached to grab his cigarette like usual only to be stopped by Matt's hand that firmly clasped on her wrist. His face a blank silhouette and it worried her.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Matt dropped her hand and turned his head away; casting the shadow across his features while he sucked in one more puff of smoke and discard of the cigarette.

"Nothing. Are you going home now?"

"Uh, y-yeah."

"Good. I'll take you. Come on." He replied, walking to a parked car across the street. Hoshi followed hesitantly a step behind and hopped in the passenger seat that Matt had escorted her to. She watched him carefully as he walked around to his side and got in.

"Matt, really, what's-"

"Could… Could you not ask questions and just let me take you home?"

"Okay, I'm sorry."

Matt's cold shoulder melted then and his tense shoulders slumped.

"Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling good."

"Oh…"

"It's nothing, really. I don't know. Maybe because I haven't eaten yet today."

"I could make you something to eat, if you want."

Hoshiko suggested quietly and Matt glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"I'd like that."

At the apartment, Matt parked and opened Hoshiko's door, following her to her room where she led him inside, offering to take his coat and got him some water. They sat at the table in the small kitchen. Matt stared at his cup while Hoshiko turned hers back and forth in her hands. The silence was stretching.

"So, are we just not going to talk or what?"

Matt stared still, saying nothing making Hoshiko swear softly.

'Dammit, Matt. Talk to me. Tell me what's--"

"I have… I got a job that I need to do tomorrow night."

Hoshiko blinked and sat back, waiting. "Go on."

Matt rubbed his face then ran his hand through his hair.

"It's a big job. A dangerous one."

"For Mellow." She guessed; her tone icy, making Matt finally looked her in the face, his eyes burning now with determination.

"No! For L. It was L's last case. Mellow and Near are working on it now and Mellow thinks he has the answer. The key to it all but he needs my help and it'll be risky." He noticed Hoshiko's expression. "But I can handle it. I'll be fine. I'm just worried about the other two."

"This is that Kira case, isn't it? You could be killed."

"I won't. I--"

"You could, Matt. That's the point. That's really why you're scared, isn't it?"

"I'm not scared, Hoshi."

"Yes, you are. I can see it. It's written all over your face. You're afraid."

Hoshiko pushed from the table and walked into the living room, angry and upset. Matt followed her quickly, knocking the table slightly making water splatter over the surface.

"Okay, okay. I'm a little afraid. But nothing will happen to me, okay?" He reached her and grabbed her shoulder to make her face him. "Okay?"

She refused to look at him.

"Hoshiko?"

"What is it? What is he having you do for him?"

"Hoshi…"

"Don't. Don't 'Hoshi' me!" She snapped, pushing him away. "Answer me."

"No." He muttered quietly, his arms at his side now.

She pushed again, harder this time. "Why not? Why, Matt?"

"Hoshi, please. Stop this."

"I want an answer! Now, tell me." Her eyes watered and she gave a third push when Matt clasped her arms and forced them to her sides and pulled her close to him.

The next move caught both of them off guard. Matt leaned his head down and pressed his lips to hers roughly. Hoshi fought a moment, confused, before sinking into the kiss, surrendering. Then it got softer and Matt pulled away slowly grudgingly as Hoshiko froze with her eyes fluttering, lost. The sound of their hearts racing was all that could be heard until Matt pressed his forehead gently on hers and closed his eyes.

"I'm… Sorry. I, uh, I didn't mean to. It just seemed like the right thing."

"No, It was…okay." Hoshi breathed, closing her own eyes.

She moved her hands to hold his own, tangling her fingers with his and he opened his eyes to watch her. She opened her own and stared back. They absorbed that moment, lost in it. The tension, the raw, pent-up emotions, all of it had finally started to make their way out slowly but surely and now was the time they finally acted on those feelings. And they did. They threw themselves into each other. Kissing, touching, and pulling. It was all released in a rush. Matt left her up into his arms while they kissed, taking her to her room and laid her on me bed, As she hit the mattress, she removed her shirt as he did his and climbed over her, giving her another deep kiss before pulling away and stare at her.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

Hoshi stared quiet a moment and then reached open with both hands. One caressed his cheek softly as the other lifted his goggles gently, tossing them aside and brushed his hair back.

"You have green eyes."

Not being able to help it, Matt laughed. "You just noticed?"

"I did. I love them… and you." She whispered, afraid she said too much. He was quiet a moment before his smile softened along with his eyes and leaned in to kiss her again.

"And I love you, Hoshi."

They lost themselves then, consumed with their love for the rest of the night. It felt like the world had frozen for them. Time had completely stopped and bowed down to them.

But despite it all, Hoshi's heart still panged with fear. Fear that Matt had expressed that night chilled her to the bone. Only time would tell what fate had in store for them now.

The morning was bright. Far, far too bright, Matt moaned, rolling over into a silky pillow cover.

'This wouldn't be so bright if I had my goggles…' He thought moodily. 'Wait, goggles… goggles…'

And it hit him. The night. The fight. The Kiss. Hoshiko.

Hoshiko.

Matt sat up quickly, ignoring the head rush and looked around. He was in her room, still in bed with nothing on. He glanced to his side to see her now. Hoshiko was laid next to him on her stomach, her arm over the pillow and hair disarrayed over her face and he smiled lightly at her angelic face. Reaching out, he brushed the hair from her face and she turned softly in her sleep.

"Matt…"

She whispered and he tensed a moment thinking he woke her up she muttered quietly and rolled over, making him laugh softly and turn away to gather his clothes.

Dressed, he moved to the other side of the bed and kneeled down next to Hoshiko's sleeping figure, giving her one more kiss, ready to leave when she stretched and opened her eyes.

"Matt? Where you going?"

She asked while her voice was thick with sleep but she sat up anyways as awareness came over her. She glanced down at her body and scrambled to wrap the blanket around her.

Being a gentleman, Matt glanced away as he stood.

"I got to go. For Mellow."

"Mellow."

She repeated and hung her head a moment. She remembered now. Why she was upset. What brought on their night together and the stab of fear hit her again, twisting in heart.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Positive."

"I…" She bit her lip and look away again. Matt noticed and sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her.

"What?"

"I don't… I don't want you to go. Mellow would understand, surely. You could just explain you have other things to do and…"

She babbled on like a fool until Matt cupped her cheek and made her look at him.

"Hoshi. Hoshi, I can't. I can't let him down like that, you know that."

She closed her eyes and a tear escaped and ran down over his hand as she pressed her cheek towards him.

"Please, Matt? Please." She begged one final time, opening her eyes to stare at him.

His face was ridden with guilt and pain as he almost gave in but Mellow was his only true friend. His brother, in a way. He couldn't let him down so easily. Matt sighed and kissed her a couple times on the lips then on her cheek.

"I'm sorry. Please, believe me. I am. But this will be my last favor, okay? My very last then I'm yours. Is that okay?"

She accepted the kisses and lift both her hands to hold on to his hand on her face and moved her head to kiss his hand after he pulled away, pressing her tear streak cheek back to it when she was done.

"If you don't come back?"

"Don't think like that. I will. Fate could never be so cruel. Now I have to go. It's almost time. I'll be back before you know it. Back to this very room, back to your side."

He kissed her lips then her forehead one last time and stood up, walking to the door only to pause and stare back at her.

"I love you. Wait for me."

And he was gone.

"I love you too, Matt. I love you,"

She whispered as the tears flooded her face and the fear grew. Fate is the cruelest of all, if only he had known that.

Why would it end this way? How could it? Not now. No. Hoshi.

The bullets had hit so hard. They were shot in cold blood. Not even giving him a chance to speak. His life light dimmed and vanished like a firefly being stepped on. Now, Matt lay in a pool of his own blood. His cigarette he had lit, promising it to his last which it really was now, laid next to him, crumpled and snuffed out. Early he had been filled with warmth and happiness in Hoshiko's arms now he was abandoned on a cold unforgiving street in the darkened world. Blood frozen in thanks to the non-beating heart and his last thought that he had before the light had died was her. Hoshiko.

I'm sorry I let you down.

I'm sorry I didn't listen to you.

I'm sorry…

Hoshiko.

And that was it.

That night Hoshiko broke down in a fit of unforgiving tears that seemed to never stop and dry. They filled and spilled over and onto her clothes and Near's shoulder as he held her quaking body. L, Mellow, and Matt. All gone.

Oh, God. Matt.

"Dammit! Damn, him! Damn, him and Mellow and… and… Fate. Damn them all!"

She cursed loudly and collapsed again to the floor in front of Near.

"I loved him. I loved him, Near. Oh god, Matt. No, no."

She whispered and held her face in her hands as Near kneeled down in front of her and hugged her tightly. He may be distant from most emotions but his heart broke for the lost of his friends and for her grief.

"The world is cold and cruel but I believe they died to make this world better. To save many others. Mellow gave his life for us. Matt died to save you, Hoshi. Don't ever forget that and resent them for it. He'll always be with you as long as you keep him in your heart."

Near whispered to her gently and she cried more.

"Why him? Why, Near? He was good. He was making himself better. He was changing! He didn't deserve to have his life taken away! He should be here. Here with… everyone. With me. Near, Near. Please, make this stop. Make the hurt stop. Please."

"Shh. It's okay. Its okay, Hoshi. I'm here. I'll always be here for you. You'll be okay. I promise. I promise."

Hoshiko shook her head and pushed away from him.

"Don't. Don't promise me anything. Matt promised to return. To wait for him and now I'll never see him again. Never."

"Yes, you will. He'll be in your dreams, in your thoughts and in your heart. He never left."

She was quiet then and mourned in silence.

Matt. My Matt. How could life be so cruel?

I love you.

I'll wait for you.

I love you, Matt. Always and forever.

Goodbye.


End file.
